Brian's Brain
In the Scottish Highland town of Tain, young Brian's garden play takes an absurd turn when his brain tumbles out of his nose and he is rendered speechless. His mother, overwhelmed by a demanding, poorly paid job, mistakes Brian’s brain for a muddy puddle and scatters seeds over it.
Miraculously, plants sprout from the spot where Brian's brain lay, and simultaneously, his voice returns as a prepubescent squeak. The botanical transformation then extends to his mother, who undergoes her own floral metamorphosis. Overjoyed, they perform a Highland jig, celebrating their bizarre new existence. The tale concludes with an abundance of fresh food, symbolising their hopeful future and profound new connection with the natural world.
Our illustrated verse is a transformative tale about overcoming adversity.
There was a child whose brain fell out
While playing with a small brown trout
It slid out of his freckled nose
Narrowly missing his muddy toes
Firstly though, I should explain,
That his name was Brian and he lived near Tain
His home was a shabby button-ben
With a yard, a burn and a bedraggled hen
Brian's mum was a warm- hearted person
Whose vagueness often made her uncertain
She worked for a notorious bully
And he exploited her kindness fully
Brian's mum's degrading job
Involved her working for a snob
Who only paid her the minimum wage
When he wasn't in a terrible rage
For want of any better work
She put up with this stupid twerp
But it was hard for her to ignore
The fact that they were very poor
Owing to always being so tired
And just relieved she hadn't been fired
She failed to notice Brian's plight
Until much later on that night
She wandered out with a packet of seeds
Of meadow grasses and plenty of weeds
"Oh joy!" she exclaimed on spotting the muddle
Of brain she mistook for a sticky pink puddle
Brian just sat with his head in his hands
as she dreamily told him her garden plans
Scattering the seeds on his brain
Knowing the forecast was for rain
With no thoughts he couldn't reply
As his mum heated soup from her dwindling supply
Of cans, cheap and quick, if tasteless and bland
And they spooned the slop with silent hands
By teatime promising shoots had grown
From the compost comprising blood and bone
By night time buds were forming fast
Flowers getting ready to blast
Slowly, bizarrely Brian found words
Forming like cheese from whey and curds
Initially sounding a ludicrous squeak
He tested his voice in an effort to speak
Brian's fair curls began to turn
The colour of chestnuts, moss and fern
And his voice became like the lilting call
Of a woodpigeon high upon the wall
His mother gasped in awe and wonder
Aware of the sound of distant thunder
While tiny green stems continued to spread
Within the space in Brian's head
Brian moved to hug his mum
Who looked as if she wished to run
But instead she opened both arms wide
Embracing him with fulsome pride
While studying his mum up close
Brian spotted something gross
He wriggled away with loud exclaim
"Oh mum - your hair's gone up aflame!"
Laughing his mum replied 'How funny,
I guess the bees have made us honey!
Wow look at us both as wild as can be
I wonder what else will happen to me?"
Her eyebrows sprouted tiny flowers
As Brian's tear ducts squirted showers
Of water natural as a mountain spring
And then they danced a Highland Fling
The kitchen walls once drab and bare
Climbed with berries and a very big pear
Shelves that once sat bleak and waiting
Were now laden with food for baking
On went the oven, pastry prepped
All of the left overs to be kept
Mother and son supped on hot pie
As the full moon beamed down from the sky
Later they sat listening to birds
Sing songs that rang like lovely words
Telling them how their bowls would flow
With foods that they would always grow
